My Name
by LucindaRemyMalfoy
Summary: Losing someone you love is never easy, not even for Draco. Tribute to cancer awarness. Roughly 900 words. This was posted in my Collection, but I wanted it to stand alone as well.


**Rated: T for some language. **

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I will never forget the way she used to say my name.

Like chimes ringing together during a summer breeze, like a whisper across my lips when it was just the two of us - or when she was yelling, angry as hell at something I'd done, her cheeks that special red that only I seemed to achieve.

I saw that special shade quite often. Sometimes I didn't know why she was mad, other times I didn't care - childish of me, I know.

But we were young. We didn't know all the things that would happen, all the things we'd make it through.

We didn't know just how valuable those moments were that we spent together.

But I digress.

The way she said my name had the power to stop me in my tracks. It had the power to control me, and I didn't even mind.

We'd be yelling - screaming even - at each other, but then she'd say my name in that way only she could, halfway between irritated and love, and I was lost. She could've said whatever she wanted after that, and I wouldn't have said a word.

How she had the power to affect me with my own name, something my parents had given me, was almost incomprehensible to me.

But there I go again, straying from the topic. She complained about that a lot too.

The way she said my name when we were alone, soft enough to be carried away by a light breeze, was probably my favorite. The one that was whispered in the dark as we lie curled up on her bed waiting for the sun to come up.

We didn't say much on those nights, but we didn't have to. It wasn't about the words that we said to each other, because we didn't mean a lot of those, a lot of the time, but it was about the words that we didn't say. The words we didn't have to say.

Sometimes I wonder if things would have been different if I would have told her. If I would've had the balls to say half the things on my mind. If I would've just grown the fuck up and told her that I loved her.

But maybe she knew that. She always said she knew me better than I knew myself, and even though that started an argument, I can look back and see that she was right.

She was right about a lot of things.

I mean there was hardly a time where she _wasn't_ right.

Even about the end.

I'd gotten entirely too accustom to the smell of antiseptic. To the smell of sterile hospital equipment and sickness. To the sound of mechanical beeps signaling that there was still life somewhere.

It was okay though, because I'd do it all again. I'd do anything for her.

Thinking about the way she said my name only a few weeks ago made me so angry to the point of self destruction.

I hated myself for not being able to take her place, because I would have. In a heartbeat, I would have.

But I'd never want her to feel the way I feel now. It was like she always said, dying was the easy part, it's the people that survived that got the hard job.

The way she said my name that last time was heartbreaking, and that's the only explanation there is.

Those first few days without her were strange. I always expected to hear her in the kitchen, her singing in the shower, her touch in the middle of the night as she played with my hair because she couldn't sleep -

But that wasn't reality anymore.

But still.

I will never forget how she cried when her stupid fur ball died. I will never forget how she laughed so hard that she fell out of her chair at Pansy's wedding. I will never forget how beautiful she looked - with her hair and without. I will never forget how we held each other all night, watched the sun come up, and stayed in bed all day. I will never forget how happy she looked when I brought her a new cat - and even though it hated me, it loved her.

I'm stuck with that damned cat now, and I could get rid of him, because it fucks up the flat on a regular basis, hisses at me, and thinks it owns my bed - but I don't. I _can't._

There are millions of things that I'll never forget about Hermione Jean Granger, but the one thing that sticks out more than everything else?

The way she used to say my name.

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**Writing is a great release, and I'd recommend it to anyone, even if it sucks and you never publish it or let anyone see it. **

**There are so many people who are affected by cancer, and this was my way of getting some of the thoughts in my head out. **

**This is for you, because you're in my heart always, even though you're not here with us.**

**My love and support goes out to all those affected by this, and any other sickness that takes our loved ones from us.**

**Have a beautiful day, lovelies. **


End file.
